Growing Up - Whatever thats supposed to mean.

In a few weeks I will be turning 21.
It's such a 'big' birthday with so many ooohs and arrrs about it, but it's 21... not even a round number. The only thing that I can think of that I can do any different is drink in America and get cheaper car insurance. Well hold me down.

Maybe if my current situation was different at the moment I would look forward to it more, maybe say I had a career, that I loved, and money in the bank, maybe if I was renting and had big things that belonged to me and maybe if I had a the independence and responsibility that I say I want maybe I'd look forward to becoming a proper adult. But for now all I know is I have no money, a huge huge amount of student debt, no job, no car and as much as I am fortunate in the fact that I don't actually mind living at home I have no space thats actually mine.

Now I know I say all that crap about independence and responsibilty but I really do want it. I know that I'll probably regret that when I have 5 little uns' running around my feet...

"See, see you said you wanted this! Can you remember? Hmmm hmm? Well now you have responsilibity don't you? And Billy's got chicken pots, deal with it."

Arr, I hear that in the voice of my Mother. So no kids now, or in the next 5 years + but I do want to be able to get a job, any at the moment but ideally one that I love, that I can work my way up, one that I can put my all into because I'm just that darn passionate about it and I want to think 'hey, I'm doing good, I'm grown up...' - STOP - ok actually scrap that I don't want to be grown grown up, I still want a life.

So now as my 21st birthday approaches I declare that I will sort myself out, try harder (if thats possible) to get a job, volunteer and get up before noon - now that is probably going to be the hardest part of this deal with myself.

Motivation... I think I can see what my next blog will be about!